Sunday Mail(4th October):

An article looks at whether a relationship can survive if one partner has an affair. The writer states that a couple can survive betrayal if both parties are willing to work on themselves and their relationship.

The writer further states that the person who committed the infidelity must be honest about their actions. They must communicate and acknowledge that they have done wrong, and accept responsibility for this.

Then the writer explains that both partners need to set clear expectations for moving ahead, knowing that it will be different from before the infidelity occurred. Trust also needs to be earned again. If you choose to stay committed to each other, then you need forgive. Surviving infidelity can actually strengthen your relationship and take it to a new level.

I put to you, the reader, can you truly survive infidelity? Even if you did forgive, do you really ever forget? Does caution sit at the back of your consciousness, just waiting for a suspicious action?

A once fractured relationship is now fragile and takes a lot less to shatter.

Is there really true happiness and contentment after infidelity?

Weekend Courier Mail (5-6 September):

An article discusses the demise of NSW Minister John Della Bosca because he had an affair.

No one is immune from this disease called 'infidelity'. It affects people from all walks of life. Mr & Mrs Smith down the suburban street, the high flying corporates, the celebrities and politicians. If it's so prevalent, why does it happen & no-one understand why? Mr Della Bosca obviously just wanted a 'bit on the side', but this can become dangerous if the other participating party wants more - as was the case in this instance.

Affairs are not just black and white. There are always grey areas. Every circumstance has two sides and unless you know both sides of the story, no-one can throw arrows. When people have affairs, are they just simply lacking something at home? Sexual intimacy, emotional connection or just time together? Is it the thrill of bedding someone without getting caught? Is it the fact that you are getting a little bit older, and still need to feel valued and appreciated in a sexual way?

If you feel any of the above, and don't feel that you are receiving it at home, is there a safe and fair way to gain these feelings without hurting anyone?

In October's issue of Cosmopolitan Magazine, it raises some very interesting issues. What exactly constitutes infidelity? It's fascinating to see what actions people perceive are a 'maybe' and what actions are strictly a 'yes' or 'no'.

I'll look at a couple of the topics:

Firstly, the strip club. The verdict was 'maybe' this is considered infidelity if someone's partner visited a strip club. It goes on to say that if it was a once off and he was honest about it, then no it's not infidelity. But if it was a regular occurrence and he was not being honest about it, then yes it was infidelity.

Men visit strip clubs and get lap dances for a variety of reasons. Some are for the typical bucks night, or wild boys out. Most of these times, the guys are so drunk, that they don't even really know where they are or what they doing. It's all a blur and they feed off each others confidence and enthusiasm.

But the men who visit strip clubs regularly, are there for totally different reasons. From my experience, they are either 'lacking' sexual intimacy at home, feel the need to have some sort of 'power' over women because in their regular day-to-day life a woman or women seem to overpower him, or it's just a plain sexual perversion.

If you find your partner is visiting strip clubs, you need to look at the possible reasons why he is doing this and discuss it with him. Confronting him outright with it will probably just inflame the situation. Professional help is certainly recommended in this instance.

Secondly, flirty emails and texts. The verdict was 'yes' this is considered infidelity. It states that about 43% of Australians admit to using email to flirt. Now this is a very interesting area of infidelity. It's considered a 'safe' way to 'have an affair'. This type of affair is not physical - it's emotionally driven. It's like when people get onto chat rooms and can pick their own identity and safely type away. They can be very honest and provocative with their thoughts safe in the knowledge that it 'isn't real'. With emailing and texting, because they can't see the other person, people can become a lot more courageous with their words. How many times have you emailed or text something, hit send, then thought 'oh shit'.....

But it's addictive and this is far becoming the most popular way of having an 'affair'.

Sunday Mail (Qld) 7 September 2008: A relationship psychologist wrote an article which stated that the reasons for infidelity were numerous. The psychologist stated that they personally never believed that monogamy for men was "natural", and unless he had made a decision to commit, then he's available. The article further states that women are the seductress, and being sexy enough to get another woman's "property" is powerful proof of her seduction. The male may feel like a saviour, a protector and needed by the other woman.But this is one of the oldest manipulations in the book. When the man decides to get out of the extramarital relationship, he goes from being "Superman" to just another bastard.

Sunday Mail (Qld) 17 August 2008: A new trend emerging has couples signing pre-nuptial agreements to protect their assets and establish rules about lifestyles. One in three marriages are ending in divorce, so couples are becoming more realistic about their relationship prospects. Some of the rules being drawn up in the pre-nups include domestic duties, social activities and punishments for infidelity. Some couples are also defining what they believe amounts to infidelity within a relationship. Traditionally pre-nups had been taken out by celebrities or the very wealthy, but now many couples are starting to get their 'rules' outlined in detailed and binding legal agreements.